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Trigger warning: truly offensive snark ahead

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Thug VC Life

Garry "Tupac" Tan for the Techbro Win!!!

For far too long we have had politicians that no one liked and needed to be removed. But early on there were no techbros with the guts to break things and disrupt the political scene. For example, back in the seventies, before lil' Garry was even born, there was some Supervisor named Milk. He was no brogrammer. He never even heard of the gods of Venture Capital and his only liquidity event was probably in some tawdry bathhouse. So it took some Twinkie eating nutjob to do the dirty deed.
But now things are different. We have muthaf*king Garry "Tupac" Tan to set things right. And of course we have Xitter to spread the word to his 400k e/acc followers (though that's nothing compared to the number he's blocked!).
And of course there was a big article about this by the self-hating communists at Mission Local. Hey, hope you like being poor!

Die slow motherfuckers

Garry, being a connoisseur of fine culture appropriation, plumbed the depths of 90's diss battles, with the number one unicorn diss battle being of course Tupac's Hit 'em Up. Garry's number-one inspirational song when he was just a 15-year-old proto-bro! The Tupac lyrics are of course the famous:
(Take money, take money)
All of y'all motherfuckers, fuck you, die slow!
Motherfucker, my .44 make sho' all y'all kids don't grow!
You motherfuckers can't be us or see us
We motherfuckin' Thug Life ridas
Westside 'til we die!
Out here in California, nigga, we warned ya
We'll bomb on you motherfuckers! We do our job!

- https://genius.com/2pac-hit-em-up-lyrics
Garry was a bit concerned that people might not get the rap reference, but we of course all knew exactly what he was referring to, along with the my .44 make sho' all y'all kids don't grow! Straight forward rap reference about killing folks, in this case the local politicians, like that Harvey Milk guy. I mean like duh, how could anyone miss that? Come on, move fast and kill things.

Maybe you have to listen to it yourself

To get the full effect of what die slow is all about, maybe you need to sample that part of the song yourself. Of course if you heard Tupac Tan spout on about mutherf*cking Supervisors before you might just want to skip it. But come on, don't be a whuss. It's already keyed up to the die slow part so you don't have to wade through a full 4 1/2 minutes of mutherf*ka to get to the pertinent part referred to:

It was the 40-ouncers!

And so what. Rap is like micro-dosing to techbros like you and me. Indulge! Not like Tupac Tan was doing anything out of sorts at the time. He even posted a nice picture showing that he was proud of his 40-ouncer collection, showing how much he appreciates the genre.
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And the police are now involved...

Oh for fucks sake:

Threatening letters sent to homes???

Oh fuckity double fuck. Mission Local reports that both Supervisors Peskin and Preston received letters at home threatening them and their families:
“Garry Tan is right!” the letter sent to Peskin, Preston and, perhaps, others read. “I wish a slow and painful death for you and your loved ones.”
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Board President Aaron Peskin today received this letter at his home. Emblazoned with a portrait of Garry Tan, it reads "Garry Tan was right!" Tan on Saturday wished a slow death upon Peskin and six of his board colleagues.
Oh my, Mission Local reports the update that Myrna received the nasty letter at home as well.
We just want to say that just because it is only the Jewish members of the Board of Supervisors received these letters so far, and just because the same phrasing was used in earlier antisemitic mailings, and just because Tupac Tan loves to rant against Jewish supervisors using antisemitic tropes, it doesn't mean that Garry is rallying his antisemitic fanboys to also do stupid things. No, it is clearly just a coincidence!

And the timing! Garry going ballistic the beginning of September about being called out for wallowing in antisemitic tropes, being closely followed by the antisemitic postcards sent to the Supes towards the end of September. Again, just a coincidence!

And what about Bilal Mamood??

Bilal Mahmood is now spending buckets of hard earned VC money trying to somehow finally get elected to office after multiple previous failed tries. And he is running against a Supervisor who Garry Tupac Tan loves to frequently threaten and hurl antisemitic tropes at. Tupac Tan is contributing $$$ directly to this race. And Tupac Tan is also on the Board of GrowSF and wants to funnel lots more money towards Bilal through them as well. Needless to say, we are rather concerned that Bilal will actually have the guts to reject Tupac Tan's dirty money, as he did with promised money from Elon Musk. Will Bilal actually do the right thing again this time?? We highly doubt it. We're pretty sure that Bilal stands strong with Tupac Tan and calls for Supervisors to be shot.
Oh, oh. Looks like all that campaign money techbros funneled to Bilal might have already gone to the heads of the political consultants. Now people are going to know about our whole plan to take in those huge unlimited donations to Bilal's DCCC campaign and then somehow oops it right into his Supervisor campaign. Move fast and break things indeed! But hey, this won't happen again... till next time!

You Better Call Sam...   
​the Disaster PR Flack, & threatening mail to Supervisor's family 

The great thing about being as rich as Tupac Tan is that you can fuck up big time, career ending kind of Oh Shit, but then you just call in your PR flak damage-control-expert Sam Singer who is on retainer as your "spokesperson". If Sam is not busy defending Chevron fires, Jack-in-the-Box poisonings, loose maulings, etc. then he can fix things up real good. 

In SF Standard, Sam comes up with:​
Sam Singer, a public relations consultant and spokesperson for Tan, dismissed the supervisors’ police reports as a form of political theater.
“I’ve never heard of anybody filing a police report against rap lyrics,” Singer said.

But then the SF Chronicle mentions the threatening mail sent to Supervisor Preston's home. Oh, oh. Awkward!
The mail said “Garry Tan is right! I wish a slow and painful death for you and your loved ones” and includes a picture of Tan’s threatening tweet. ​

Finally You Better Call Sam steps up and rushes in an emergency apology:
Sam Singer, a spokesperson for Tan, said in a statement Tuesday that “Garry Tan made a terrible mistake in quoting rap lyrics and referencing members of the Board of Supervisors. He withdrew the tweet and has apologized to the Supervisors for his lack of judgment and decorum.”  He added that Whoever sent the threatening piece of mail to Preston "did something that was inappropriate and wrong."

Together SF Action, you okay?

Oh, they are far more than okay. Our ally Together SF Action has been at the forefront of our "spread the love" campaign. They truly appreciate that we simply need to force it to make sense, even it doesn't make any sense at all. Yes, Steve Jobs "reality distortion" lives on with those epic thought leaders at Together SF (thanks for the funding, Michael Moritz!). Once again they have solidly taken on the TechbroSF position, just crushing the supporting of threats to Supervisor's families.
For those who it still doesn't make sense for, Together SF would like to remind you that when Mayor London Breed became mayor in July 2018 that profits soared. Just look at this awesome chart below:

The other "deleted" tweet

Tupac Tan was quick and deleted the tweet with the rap lyrics he wrote when he was 15. But us techbros fortunately got Elon Musk to have his team of content moderators give us the text. We are looking forward to Tupak Tan takin this to the mic:
Yo, it's Tupak Tan, flipping the script in this startup scene,
Venture capital cash, AI dreams mean.
Billions on the table, fuck slow and steady,
Thug Life mentality, keepin' it steady.

All you motherfuckers doubting, can't fuck with this,
My .44 mindset, no chance I miss.
Thug Life ridas, effective incelerationist dice,
Who's dis Harvey Milk guy, some white guy on ice.

All you haters, motherfuckers, talkin' 'bout die slow,
In this startup grind, we watch the cash flow.
Billions on the line, stacking up high,
Tupak Tan, the visionary, don't even try.

Silicon Valley streets, where we make the play,
AI minds sharp, fuck what they say.
No time for the weak, we on a mission,
Tupak Tan's empire, disruptin' tradition.

My .44 metaphor, all about the violence,
It's about the power, the investment silence.
Thug Life ridas, in this business game,
Changing the world, fuck the fame.

All you haters, motherfuckers, talkin' 'bout die slow,
In this startup grind, we watch the cash flow.
Billions on the line, stacking up high,
Tupak Tan, the visionary, don't even try.

- copyright Garry Tupac Tan, e/acc, age 15

An arrest after 27 years!?!

Late breaking news is that Garry Tupac Tan was simply getting a bit excited with the recent arrest of the uncle of 2pac's killer. The actual shooter, Orlando Anderson, was shot years and years ago, another victim of die slow.